Wellington, New Zealand

'NnRRhhuuurrg! Too much acid!'

Ah, home to Peter “Lord of the Rings” Jackson. For me its just a stopping before making a ferry crossing to the South Island. I must say at this point, and I cant forget to point this out, that the Zealand sceney is absolutely bloody stunning. Anywhere you drive you have these amazing, weird-shaped, lush rolling hills going on forever. You will also never go anywhere with so much cattle in your life. Lets just say if the animals revolted ‘Animal Farm’ style, this country would be doomed. There are an incredible amount of different rock formations and landscapes due to its volcanic history. If Australia is a haven for biologist for all its crazy wildlife, then New Zealand is certainly a Geologists wet dream. I just think its pretty an’ tha’. Heres a few boring landscapey photos to highlight my glistening point:



'Frodo drove along this road did you know...'

Where was I? Oh yes Wellington. Well this is the place they had the big hoo-har for the premier of Lord of the Rings (well most of the studios and filming was done here). But bollocks to all that….It’s home to the only Welsh bar in the Southern Hemisphere!! That’s right! Eat your trousers excitement time. To be honest that’s the main reason Im here. After a conversation with a Canadian bird back in Taupo about why there is an Irish pub in every city in the world but not one Canadian or Welsh bar, she pointed out there was one here in Wellington. Upon seeing it, I did think it looked remarkably like a public toilet. Surprise, surprise that’s what it used to be before coming a gay bar. Then a Welsh bar. Nice when a bar has such a glamorous history. And the great thing is they only employ Welsh people to work there. So I felt quite at home in the Dragon Bar and got quite a friendly welcome. Strangely it was also where we met ‘Terry’ the highly annoying yet strangely amusing transvestite Maori. Got suitably chogged up and made sure I signed the guest book and the big Welsh flag they had there. Forgot to bring me bloody camera though! Drat.

The streets of Wellington have more buskers than any other city Ive visted. My particular favourite was this mad old hatter juggling. Unfortunately this photo doesnt highlight the fact that while he was a juggling he had a permanent, visible errection:

'Can I show you my balls?'

Nothing else to report except that I watched ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ at the cinema and thought Id use this opportunity to implore everyone reading this to go out and see it right now. A very important and scary documentary. We’re all doomed! Now. Where did I park the hummer?