Boston was where we were heading (and not ‘headed’ which is another strange bastardisation the Americans have snuck into the English language – note MS Word changed ‘bastardisation’ to ‘bastardization’ automatically as I typed this…oh the irony (hmm that should be underlined as an unrecognized word)) we drove and after an exorbitant amount of toll roads (we drove across the USA and paid one toll. Drive from Washington to Boston you’ll hit about 15!) we were homing in on Teddies Auntie and Uncles house. It would appear that I spent more times with Swedes in America than Americans, but that is in no way a bad thing. This would also be a great chance to try out all the Swedish I learnt from my linguaphone CDs Ive been driving Teddie nuts with on this road trip.
After arriving and meeting her family I quickly realized I was in a unique position I hadn’t been in before; I was in a social situation where everyone I knew around me was speaking another language and I couldn’t join in. And it taught me a great lesson of empathy for anyone in the world who has tried to learn another language by placing themselves in the middle of it.
Of course I tried my new found skills out, although unfortunately the CDs I had bought only really taught me how to invite girls to come round my house for a drink whilst in Stockholm. As you can imagine, my vocabulary ran out pretty quickly. It was encouraging though having 11 people all hanging on every Swedish word you try and say only for them to all burst into hysterics when you have finished your sentence. I took it on the chin as it was all good fun but it was a harsh step in my first ‘live’ language lesson. More practice needed methinks.
Swedish is unfortunately, from a global perspective, a pointless language to learn as it’s not used anywhere outside Sweden, and most people in Sweden speak good English. A bit like Welsh. Similarly though I can also justify learning it simply to be able to better yourself and also immerse yourself in another culture. I’m not going to lie though, its going to take a Jurassic era for me to get any good. It’s a good job I’m immortal I suppose.
Luckily Teddies family are great. Very friendly, very generous and also very similar to people back home (i.e. they like to get pissed and have a laugh). Apart from the strange songs they sing between drinks, it was all very comfortable. And, very kindly, they did all make an effort to speak English at the dinner table which helped me no end. I remember speaking to my parents on Xmas day and mentioning to them that I was meeting the in-laws and they both reminded me to have a shave. Being a lazy bastard I took this advice lightly and was quite amused to hear Teddies Grandfather saying I fitted in well to the family but would score more points if I had a shave! I guess old people just don’t get how cool it is not to shave (no offense, old people).
I even (foolishly) suggested that I should cook for everyone one night. Why on earth I decided to do this I have no idea, but being invited to stay for free at someones place for a week whilst being cooked for each night made me think I should give something back. Lord knows how, but I managed to pull off my random traveling cook-off special of chicken in a chinesey marinade with plain rice. They said they liked it and no one got ill or died so I guess that’s a result. Cooking for more than 4 people is highly stressful though and best avoided until you really know what you’re doing is my advice.
New Years Eve was a hoot. We organized a load of team games for during the day for the whole family to play. Got some fantastic rope burn from tug of war and failed miserably at my own contribution of quickest to eat a load of cream crackers (I actually came last out of 11). It even gave me (yet another) excuse to wear the superman outfit as each team needed a uniform (although I did spare them the splendor of the underpants). We also indulged in a strange stick throwing game:
“Spot the ball?”
And hitting eggs with golf clubs:
Come the evening, it was a rather splendid affair where everyone dressed up smart. Luckily I had bought a nice shirt back in the outlet stores in Orlando but still had to borrow some strides from Teddie’s dad as my backpacker wardrobe didn’t really stretch to ‘formal’. Look how smart the turnout was though:
“Skol! (That means ‘we love you Spencer’ in Swedish)”
The night proceded with drinking (of course), singing and dancing:
“Jush like tha’”
It was actually a relief not to make a complete tit of myself on New Years Eve and actually remember it in the morning. I stayed very respectable and in control yet well sozzled. So I managed to wake up in the morning and still feel accepted by the family if not wildly hung over.
Along with the award winning hospitality, we also had little days out in and around Boston. Stopped off at a very quaint little sea village which did not feel like America at all. Found a shop that sold marbles so me and Teds bought a few and did some reminiscing of older days when we used to play in school. I also managed to win one of her galaxys off her as well. There was also a chance to sample New England Clam Chowder which I had heard a lot off but never had. It’s a sort of fish and potato soap in a bread bowl. It sounded interesting but I didn’t order in case I didn’t like it. Unfortunately it was bloody fantastic after having sampled some and I regretted my lame chicken burger.
“Your not in Kansas anymore (I never was)”
Also squeezed a visit to a basketball game (to watch the mighty Boston Celtics – Go Tigers!!!!) which I enjoyed immensely even though I thought it would be a case of “we score a basket then you score a basket. Repeat”.
“Go Gorillas!!”
Wasn’t such a fan of the game stopping for ‘Timeouts” so that they could broadcast adverts on the TV. Football (soccer) and Rugby players run around solidly for 80 to 90 minutes with only one break. American sports constantly have stops and timeouts. Maybe they’re players aren’t as fit. But Im no man to talk about fitness what with my strict burger diet and strenuous sitting down sessions. They do however fill these breaks with some good entertainment such as zooming a camera around the crowd with a special effect on the screen to make people look like they have massive heads, or throwing t-shirts into the crowd with a massive bazzoka like gun, or cheerleaders or, my favourite, the lepricorn doing a somersault slam dunk off a trampoline:
“Ah bejeezers!”
The game was a nail biter and was just barely lost in the last tense few minutes (they should have played the penalty off the back board and gone for three out on the wing – but then what the hell do I know).
Boston was great as it gave me a bit of time in one place and was accompanied by a lovely friendly family. Plus, from what I saw of Boston, it’s a very beautiful city. And, far more important than anything else, I didn’t fuck up with the in-laws. Score!
Righty ho, off back to New York spend the last weekend of my 14 month bender.
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