Random Use Of English

Whilst Ive been here Ive noticed that all over the place the Japanese will use random English words for products or places and such like. However they make absolutely zero sense and can often sound ridiculous. So heres my top 10:

10. "Media Cafe Popeye" (Internet cafe) Had bugger all to do with popeye, no spinnach or olives, I guess they thought theyd put it in for a laugh

9. "Good Coffee Smile" (coffee advert) Not sure whether its an instrcution to smile or whether the coffee was so thick it left you with a coffe smile (like a milk smile) around your chops

8. "Pro Shop New Friend" (Sports shop) A good place to make new friends? I think not

7. "Spunky Gold" (Bar) If mine was gold, Id be a rich, rich man

6. "Hand You" (Estate Agents?) Im guessing they might be trying to say "hand you" the keys. I, having the mind of a 5 year old, read it another way

5. "Tokyo Random Walk" (Book Shop) What!? What?!?! This just makes no sense. None.

4. "Wonder Jew" (Supermarket) For those of you that have questioned my ethnicity due to my beautiful, beautiful nose, then I guess this is where youd find me doing my shopping

3. "Im Lucky! Lets play with me!" Written on the side of a drinks can. Quite a nice chat up line. Must try it sometime.

2. "Please enjoy yourself slowly to the last" (message displayed before the start of an imax movie) I might have expected this is the film I was about to watch was of the more 'rhythmic' kind. However, it was a short film about the international space station. Narrated by Tom Cruise. And now the moment youve been waiting for, the number one random use of english is....

1. "Boat! Beat! Heart! Kyote!" (Advert for, er, Kyote I guess) You can imagine the conversation in the advertising department:

Ad Exec #1: Ok, were advertising our new product Kyote, anyone got any good ideas?

Ad Exec #2: How about getting some random english words and put them before it?

AE#1: I like it, I like it!

AE#2: And we shout each one. Individually.

AE#1: Good good! This is nice. What words shall we use?

AE#2: Boat?

AE#1: Go on....

AE#2: Beat?

AE#1: Yes....yes....

AE#2: Heart?

AE#1: This is hotting up....

AE#2: Kyote?

AE#1: Genius! Absolute Genius! Well get promotions for this.

Japan. Off its head.

A prize for guessing what this is advertising...