Orlando,USA

This place has always excited me everytime I came here, probably because I know Im in for a slice of cheesey tourist fun and loads of theme parks. However, this time it didn’t feel so good. I think having spent a year being a tourist and doing an obscene amount of cheesy touristy things has taken its toll on me. Perhaps its also because Ive been here so many bloody times that there are no more surprises left. I think this will be the last time I come here until I have children (well providing ,that is, all my sperms haven’t gone boss eyed and can still swim straight after all the abuse Ive given my body!).

One surprise it did reveal for me was a fantastic test of my patience. After a morning of crazy (and I mean a few slight inclines and bends, not really crazy) golf, we decided to take advantage of the half day discount at the Wet N Wild water park (Universal Studios seemed a bit of a rip off compared to Bushe Gardens as it was more expensive and had less rides). As I was driving, only one block away from Wet N Wild, I found myself in a wrong lane. Unable to go straight on, I was forced to take a turn left. In a desperate attempt to find an exit road or somewhere to turn I blundered onto a freeway with no exits for miles. Then a toll. Then I drove passed a place to do a U turn. Then desperate and blind exits were taken, driving onto different freeways. A few more tolls paid, 10 miles of driving and a stop in a petrol station to ask directions to a place I could actually see 30 minutes ago before being forced to make a disastrous wrong turn, and I was a nice simmering pot of rage. Luckily, Teddie had the common sense to point out that I should stop driving more and more aggressively and actually slow down in case we miss it again. Or kill a small child. Amazingly an argument along the lines of a man being too stubborn to admit he was wrong and a woman making a comment like “Well, if you’d have taken that turning like I said” was avoided and a great day out was had at the water park. I still blame the American road design. Now if they had roundabouts like normal people……

Theme parks aside, there was time to pick out a few bargains at the outlet shopping center, such as a big bastard thick coat for the winter weather that awaits us further north. I also got something I probably should have got a long long time ago:


“From zero…”


“To hero! Well…pinhead”

That’s right! After growing my hair solidly for an entire year I did the right thing and got a bloody hair cut. I suppose it wasn’t really fair for Teddie to be going out with Worzel Gummage. It wasn’t just a curiosity to see what I looked like with long hair (ridiculous), but it was also a symbolism for me being able to stick to something without giving up when it gets hard. I did what I planned and grew it for a year, and for me it looks better shorter, but I cant help feel that maybe I should have stuck to it and kept on growing it even more. What do you think blog fans?